Square one... again.

I wish I could be writing you about this being a week of great success in my foray into being more mindful as how I’m using my phone. Unfortunately, I can’t. I had a terrible week. I could wax into reasons as to why. However, that’s not what I started this forum for. You’re not here to listen to my self-pity party, or to hear me whine about situations that are now firmly out of my hands. You’re here to listen to how I’m doing on this path forward.

When I looked at my phone’s weekly report from last week, I discovered that I had used the device on average 4 hours, 53 minutes on average a day. That doesn’t take into account how much time I spent on my personal computer- which, to be fair, I use that a lot less than I do my cell phone. Ladan Nikravan Hayes, a writer from Chicago who penned an article in 2018, says that people who suffer with anxiety and depression often times will utilize it as a quick momentary fix for the problem. I hate to say it- as someone who suffers with depression and anxiety, I think that may be what happened to me. The irony is, it doesn’t help. Later in the same article, Hayes says that the mindless doom-scrolling can lead to further depression and anxiety, which is the entire reason why I started upon this journey in the first place.

So, what am I to do? Clearly, at this point, I’ve done away with the basket, and I’ve failed to turn my phone off. My phone auto-installs apps whenever it updates that I must remove off of my phone. I knew this was going to be a process- but I didn’t think it was going to be so damn difficult.

I suppose, in a way, this is not all my fault. If you’ve been following along since the first post two weeks ago, you know that I didn’t grow up with smartphones in hand. But I came across them at a very impressionable age in my life. This is different than, say, my father who just celebrated his 66th birthday last month, who didn’t come across smart phones until much later in his life, and therefore can take them or leave them. I wish I had that resolve. Then again, he also has a smart speaker that he uses to look up answers, which is something I do not, and will not have in my house. Call me paranoid- but something about having a modern-day wire tap always listening in just creeps me out.

Back to my original point. A trip to the local supermarket revealed that the conditioning is going much deeper. You know those little endcaps throughout the store that have children’s toys on them? I picked up a lot of fun toys from those endcaps. I was a simple kid to please- either a toy or an Illustrated Classics book kept me entertained for hours. When I went to the grocery store just last night, however, those were replaced. Instead? It was a fun little water bubble game… shaped like a smart phone.

Marketing smartphones for kids is nothing new. The FTC has imposed fines on marketers who collect information from kids under the age of 13. Kids are addicted to these devices, and I can’t help but wonder what’s going to happen in the future. Is this going to prepare them for the next big technological advance? Or is it going to stunt them developmentally? Experts, I’m sure, already have the answers on this topic. I’m just coming up with my own questions here that I’ll someday look up the answer to.

The good news is? There’s a movement of parents that are refusing to give their kids smartphones, and schools across the world are refusing to allow mobile phones in the classroom, citing many of the reasons that I'm trying to get away from my phone myself.

I can only see this as a win for the kids. I hope, over this next week, that I'll be able to celebrate my success with my own digital addiction struggles as well. Back to de-apping my phone. Until next time, dear reader.